Answering That Big Question

The age-old question of, “What are you going to school for,” always bothered me. It scared me because it meant I had to wake up to the reality that I was an adult who needed to get his act together. Whenever this interrogation tactic was deployed I caved in. I answered using the most common response a person my age could use, “I don’t know.” I always felt like an idiot for saying that, but it was the truth. I think many people appreciated my honesty though because the usual response was “It’s okay you still have time!” That might have been true but put a lot of pressure on myself to figure things out. 

When I was first asked the question I was a junior in high school. I initially said I wanted to be a writer for a comedy show. I like to think that I’m funny sometimes. Or at the very least I think I have good ideas. Anyways, this was the answer for many years until I shot myself down. I said to myself, “It just isn’t realistic. You’re really gonna move away to Los Angeles or New York where there are tons of people like you fighting like dogs to get a job?” This made me think a lot about myself. “I am funny or creative enough to do this?” It was a dream I had to let go of.

The next year, I got into playing guitar. I started doing loads of research on the history of guitars, especially electrics. I loved walking into the guitar store and picking up a guitar, and playing quietly so no one could hear how bad I actually was, and admittedly still am. So an idea sparked in my brain. I wanted to combine my new found love for guitar and combine it with a more grounded idea. I thought of getting a business degree, which in itself isn’t a bad thing at all. It is useful in all sorts of job markets. So I answered that big question with “business.” I was dead set on this idea. I was excited to tell my parents the news. I was going to own a guitar shop! I was met with a sense of happiness. But after further discussion, my dad talked about the many years of hard work to build a business. I would be at the store from open until close. Now I am not afraid of hard work, but I am afraid of a twelve-hour day. I value my free time and if I owned a store I would get very little of that. 

I went from answering with “writing,” to “business,” and then to “business or something like that I’m not sure.” I was still looking for something more grounded. The thing I was missing was what I was good at. It was perhaps the most important question of all. 

It was Thanksgiving. My immediate family and I took a trip to see my aunt and uncle down in Chicago. I was immediately greeted by my cousin’s toddler, Leo. He ran up to me. After I said hello to everyone I swiftly picked Leo up, threw him on my back, and gave him a piggyback ride around the house. He screamed, “Firetruck! Firetruck!” I took him over to his firetruck themed playset and started to play with him. My aunt walked over to us and she started off with some softball questions like how my semester was going. Then she hit me with it, “what are you going to school for again?” At first, I was a little annoyed because I got asked it so much. Then I responded with “business or something, I don’t know…” Then she said something I wasn’t expecting, “That’s a shame, ’cause I think that you would be good with kids…I know you like to help people. I think you’re good at it.” Now initially I shrugged this off because I had some doubt. I never really thought I was good at much. But I thought I needed more input. 

I went back to UWM-WC after the Thanksgiving break and I scheduled an appointment with Liz Schielke, my advisor, so I could talk to her about what classes I should pick for the upcoming semester. I waited for a few weeks and went to the student center and waited. Liz came out and called my name. I walked behind her kind of excited because maybe I would finally be able to answer the question with assurance. She asked me to sit down so I obliged. She asked what I’d like to do. I said, “If I’m being honest I’m not really sure. That’s kind of the reason I’m here.” She asked, “What kind of problems do you like to solve?” This caught me off guard. I sat there for a minute and thought back to what my aunt said. So I said, “I like to solve people problems.” She asked another question, “Have you thought about being a counselor?” I said, “No, I haven’t.”

My aunt was right. I am good at helping people. In fact, my friends and family call me the mediator. I like dealing with kids, and I think that I can help them. It only took one person to point that out to me. And I know that this might change, nothing is concrete. But at least when people ask me that age-old question, “What are you going to school for?” I respond, “I’m going because I want to be a counselor at an elementary school.” They finally say “Oh, I can see you doing that!”